I have taken some extracts from testimonials kindly written by previous gents to give you an idea of what others have thought about our time together:
M first contacted me about six weeks before we met for a brunch date in London. Before then we'd had some trouble scheduling in a mutually convenient time to meet before arranging an Introductory Meeting over a glass of red wine and then finding that the stars aligned for us to meet for a playdate three weeks later. I think you'll see from below, that not only was it worth the wait, but also the value of 'where there's a will, there's a way!'.
I am always honoured when someone approaches me as their first D/s experience, and M's experience and reflection here show his first-time experience as well as a shared enjoyment of that experience.
"Dear Miss Fitzgerald
I think I am finally coming back to Earth after our meeting last week, and I thought it might be a good idea to get back to you and put in writing what’s been on my mind.
First of all, I wanted to thank you for three amazing hours. They were incredibly intense, both physically and emotionally. Before this meeting, I had a vague idea of my fantasies of submitting to a female authority figure, but I was way too nervous to vocalise them or to initiate anything. Your command for me to take my clothes off made things much simpler, and focusing first on your feet was a great way to get into the right mindset. As a dominant, you were gentle yet challenging, and your smile and gaze were tender and disarming. The more intense stuff really pushed my limits, but although a few times it hurt, I never felt like I was in danger. It was quite strange: you were dedicated, sweet, patient, and dare I say selfless, yet at the same time commanding. I felt as if under a spell, the victim of forces I could not control. I also really appreciated the fact that you touched me and hugged me throughout, and that you insisted I contact you afterwards to let you know how I was coping.
I must admit, however, that the peeing pushed the limits of what I was prepared for mentally. That doesn’t mean that I regret it, nor that I wouldn’t do it again, but that it tensioned my very sense of self. I’ve never felt quite like that before, so defenceless, so humiliated, so owned. I can almost still smell it. At the same time, I yearned to please you in any way possible and actually wanted to be degraded by you. The ‘taboo’ factor was also a part of it I guess.
I also wanted to write a few lines to help myself understand what made me seek you in the first place. I guess it was because, professionally, I am going through a stressful period, while also making some important life decisions. I felt a bit overwhelmed. Hence why I wanted to be taken care of, not to worry about making a faux pas because I wasn’t calling the shots, and to please another person, to find my pleasure in theirs. I really enjoyed the experience and discovered a lot about myself, but I also wonder if I should, in parallel, try to ‘call the shots’ and not be afraid to take the lead. To feel that it’s ok to be powerful and affect other people’s lives, and that they might even want you to (as I did).
In a nutshell, I like being submissive because it makes it impossible to make mistakes, but I also want to learn to be ok with my mistakes. In that sense, you both gave me an intensely liberating (and rejuvenating!) experience and showed me that there’s a way of being dominant that is mindful of others, and that can actually improve their lives. I can’t thank you enough for that. That makes me admire you and makes my time with you impossible to forget.
Sorry if this email felt a bit like navel-gazing, but it’s amazing to have someone like you with whom to share these thoughts.
I send you lots of hugs, my best wishes and my eternal gratitude."
This is an edited version of an email I received from a gent after a weekend together, partly in order to help him process his own thoughts and the sub drop he experienced after his flight home, allowing us to talk it through via email and a little aftercare from hundreds of miles away.
Miss Fitzgerald’s aka Editor’s notes are in Italics. I have tried to retain as much of the original email whilst cutting out some parts in order to protect privacy. All edits and the posting of the email have been done so with L’s consent.
Good Evening Miss Fitzgerald,
Find something comfortable on which to sit. The oft-threatened long missive is here.
Either way, I hope it's an enjoyable/interesting read.
You are, of course, the only person I can empty my head at, for better or worse!
- DIP -
I'm having a dip.
I haven't looked it up on the internet, because I wanted to examine it myself without adopting any explanations from elsewhere and coming to the wrong conclusions. I experienced this (very) briefly on Monday, but now I'm wallowing a bit. I wouldn't go so far as to call it despair, but it's a definite feeling of emptiness. My theory for this is; if you spend a prolonged spell in an intimate situation with somebody else, and you perceive an emotional connection with that person (to be clear - not Stockholm Syndrome!), then for that to be curtailed abruptly will result in a psychological dip once the brain stops buzzing with happy chemicals.
If you throw into the mix the unique physical/mental/emotional explorations that you have shared, well... that's just asking for trouble!
I suppose it goes a little something like this : Something is missing - There's nobody here that understands me - I am alone/lonely.
- ME ME ME -
(Editor’s note: section deleted)
- GENERAL MUSINGS -
Here's a section dedicated to random thoughts that have bubbled up in the past few days.
I'm sure I remember saying at one point (and probably thinking it at several) "Even I can't make myself feel like that", or similar. Ok, it's true that the involvement of other people is always/usually going to be better than solo-play.
I hope I've written all that down so it can be read as intended. I shall have to give it a few read-throughs myself.
Following on from this, I'd just like to say that, you are now the Gold Standard against which all my future intimate relationships shall be measured. I have never.. ever.. been made to feel that way by anybody.
- THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE -
Hopping back in time to last Friday. What a weekend. It feels like we packed a lot in. Pun almost intended. ;)
I really enjoyed our social time together - I think we had some good conversations, and a giggle here or there. In a different context, that would have still made for a fun weekend. Good food too!
And so, onto the things that separated this weekend from other weekends. A catalogue of Firsts for me!
It was very easy for me to fall into the groove of taking orders. I don't think any of your demands were too taxing or embarrassing, and I'm glad to have a little direction, and someone else to consider above myself.
I wasn't as self-conscious as I thought I would be, and I found that in itself a little unnerving. Actually, a first-pass edited remark coming in here - I didn't feel self-conscious because you didn't *make* me feel self-conscious. It's not like you were staring at parts I'd normally be hiding behind a book, towel, guitar, other prop. ..and now I've just remembered the story about the nudists. :)
My memory is already a little hazy, so allow me to strike while the iron is still lukewarm.
There was a foot massage, bathing.
You taught me how to deal with pain during nipple torture (extraordinarily, this made my nipples pert-ish for the whole weekend!).
I'm genuinely surprised by the things I remember and the things that I do not. There was fancy binding of the ankles, and you were concerned about my shoulders being ok. :)
Oh, and biting nipples, more pain, and other stimulation which left me in a "buzzing" state.
Oh, and there was the chastity device. An uncompromising contraption. Very uncomfortable to put on (and embarrassing also), a constant element of discomfort when worn, and ultimately, it just gave up and fell off. I did wonder what it would be like to get aroused in something like that - very uncomfortable, I imagine. That never happened, however, and either way, I'm glad it wasn't the one with teeth that you described! The weekend may have ended very early indeed!
The main dish of the day for Saturday was some rear end play. I know that I said that I was not averse to the idea, but nothing could have prepared me for what followed in the next few(?) hours (I completely lost track of time).
Some light stimulation with lube, then one finger, two fingers, and then a dildo, I think. Quite an extraordinary feeling.. the touch.. the friction.. the movement. It's not directly pleasurable, as such - not like direct contact with the penis, and I'm still undecided about the role of a prostate in all this.
There was then some intricate, and very attractive, binding of the legs, sashes around the wrist, and also a blindfold. I almost wish you had taken pictures.
And then the strap-on. Which was frightening. Because, as you know, I've never had anything anywhere near as large down there. And it was completely out of my control, which, let's be honest, was a fantastic thing. I never thought it was going to go in. An incredible sensation, which again wasn't directly pleasurable per se, but the combination of the reaction of the nerve endings down there (who knew there were so many?!) and additional stimulation of my other bits made the party. But it's the mental element that completes the picture. Also, when you moved to lie on top of me, thrusting between my bound legs, and panting - it may sound crazy, but it was one of the most sensual experiences I have ever been involved in. A complete lack of control on my part, the most intimate personal invasion, and being used for somebody else's pleasure. What's not to like?
Also, you had freed my hands, and I could feel the sweat, slick on your back. An added bonus - it was a real turn-on. Amazing.
Then you flipped me over and took me from behind. Quite roughly. It wasn't a comfortable experience, and your cock was ramming against my cervix (calling that out here and now as a joke, in case there was any doubt - I've heard some clever people say some very ignorant things, so I wanted to put any doubt to rest!), but again, it certainly wasn't not enjoyable. You cranked it up another notch when you leaned over me, pressed yourself against me, and pulled yourself into me with each thrust.
When that was over, I did fear that you had ruined me anatomically, but I should never have doubted you. :)
Something else that was brand new to me was breath play (I think that's what the kids call it these days) - that was a really weird sensation. I had never even considered that as a "thing", and to be completely honest, the mere idea scared the proverbial out of me. However, by the time that happened, I already trusted you completely, so it wasn't a big issue. You did have your hand around my throat a couple of times, and I thought you were going to choke me, but you didn't. I wonder if you considered it, but had second thoughts on the grounds of my inexperience. But you did the breath and nose thing. It was really interesting, but I wasn't anywhere near my limits with that. Just for future reference. :)
So, the remote control butt plug! That was fun, despite the technical issues! Again, the sensation was weird, but not stimulating, as such. Embarrassing, I think, more than anything else - I could hear the thing a mile off. But it was HUGE. I never thought it would go in, and it was *painful* going in, but again, you've proved that you know me better than I know myself. There was also an element of panic, because it always felt like it was going to fall out. Which along with the possibilities that that might entail, put me in an eternal state of panic! Of course, it was so big, it would never fall out, but I couldn't feel myself down there, and had no idea what was happening apart from the vibrations.
After the never-ending breakfast, there was a lot of last minute play. Cutting things very close to the wire, which made me nervous, which I guess was actually a positive thing.
There was a lot of teasing, and yes, after a full weekend of teasing without any resolution, I was so on the edge, it wasn't true.
Here's a thing - you threw something into the mix around this time which I would never have considered seriously, ever. Even if it was performed by an award-winning actor. You used "dirty talk". Something which I've never considered as anything but laughable, clichéd, or just plain silly. Because it is, right? It couldn't be anything else. But... you did it, and you did it right. Perfect timing. Perfect delivery. Nailed it. The way you were going, you could have made me come with your words alone. Granted, I was well on the way to becoming a gibbering idiot, but still, you are desperately in need of a Oscar. Stroke of genius (another pun!).
Only a few items on the list remaining, and I have to know - was the coin toss a setup? Because thinking back on it, the original 50/50 chance seems a bit too generous. I do wonder how that possibility would have played out. It's a very fair offer. An offer which regretfully I lost.
And because of that, and also because of a miscalculation on my part, that's how we ended up in the bathroom. Knowing what I know now, would I have made the same choice? (Editor’s note: choice is reference to post-orgasm torture) I think it's a case of people, in general, mis-remembering moments of pain and extreme discomfort. Much like some women giving birth, swearing "never again", and yet they go on to have 17 more children. Trauma can never be recalled in its entirety.
On Sunday, I would have said "never again", now I'm not so sure. But who can make a logical decision in that kind of situation anyway? You did make it a little on the challenging side!
Rest assured that, from what I can still recall, it was possibly the most unpleasant experience I have ever endured. A bit like having your teeth drilled. Again, a first. You actually *almost* made me cry (how would you react if I had actually cried?). I can't remember what it was you were saying during the process, but again, it was on point. I also got the impression you *really* enjoyed it, and I think that was the first time I'd really seen that side of you. But give me credit too - I stayed and took it. ;)
So, let's talk the other stuff. :)
I've never had anybody pee on me before, and it sort of started to happen without me being conscious of what was happening. I've never even seen a woman pee before, so it was a landmark moment for me! (and believe it or not, that's a life goal that goes way.. way back. Deeply rooted in childhood. I don't know why.) It might seen odd, but I didn't really want to look, because it seemed rude or impolite. I'm wondering if it would have been different if I hadn't yet come? Perhaps.
Then you pushed my (not soft, but not really hard) limits. My inner Niles rebelled. The idea of having to go on a plane covered in cum and pee, triggered me. Having said that - I'm wondering if I could have been pushed (strictly for your amusement, obviously!). I know I said "No", or "I can't", about 20 times, but would I have buckled at 30? You are very persuasive after all, and I'd acquiesced to everything else thus far. Open question for reflection - I don't know the answer.
Then, and kudos to you for this, a stroke of genius (I actually think you might be one of the cleverest people I know, and you know how I hate giving compliments) - you allowed me to take a shower (at a time of your choosing), but only using water. Now, I have absolutely no idea of absorption rates of various substances in relation to skin, so this was just enough to concern me, but not enough for me to reject the idea out of hand. I even remember some pee splashing on my face. ;)
Of course, despite your warnings that you would be watching, I did take the opportunity to scratch the smallest amount of shower gel from the top of the bottle and use that, even though it was a measly, insignificant amount, and would not have had any effect. However, I also found myself sniffing my body parts on the plane - I'm sure that will amuse you!
- DENOUEMENT -
A few final thoughts before I wind up this epic e-mail. I had a fantastic time with you. I found you to be an engaging companion, quick-witted, creative, and knowledgeable. Professional interests aside, somebody I would be proud to count as a friend. Of course, you don't need any validation from me. I'm just trying to express, in my own ham-fisted manner, that I think you're awesome.
Professionally, I am astounded that you know me better than I know myself. How on earth can you know the exact point at which to stop me from going over the edge? Not only that, how soon after letting go, to apply a particular kind of touch to maintain that state? It's damn near supernatural.
Everything you planned for the weekend was completely on point. Boxes all ticked, a completely unforgettable experience which I will treasure for the rest of my life! But hopefully not a final chapter.
Could I have been pushed further? Perhaps. But who could have known?
I'm a noob, I gave you no hard or soft limits (I didn't know them). You performed admirably with the small amount of information available.
I hope I haven't offended you by anything I've said - it certainly wasn't the intent. It has been very much a Stream of Consciousness e-mail, and to be honest, it's really been helping with my "dip" to get this all written down on screen.
I hope you've managed to find a comfortable few moments to digest this mail.
Here I am feeling nervous again before I hit "Send"!
Wishing you a well-deserved, fantastic week! :)
And once again, seriously - thank you for everything.
Yours ever gratefully,
I am a 60 year old professional man who, for reasons too complicated to discuss, has been availing himself of the services of professional dominatricies for about 40 years. I am still going strong, and still loving the experience! Otherwise, I have a perfectly vanilla and happy family life.
On reflection, since I was 20 years old I must have visited almost 200 professional women in the BDSM “trade” all over the world. In some cases I have built long lasting relationships with the best of them, most often here in London.
But Olivia Fitzgerald, whom I met two years ago, is simply unique; for those wanting a quick hit and run session in the dungeon she is absolutely not suitable - so read no further.
Miss Fitzgerald demands a serious relationship, and you will have to work very hard to establish your position and to earn her respect. While sexual BDSM play is at the heart of such a relationship, there is a great deal more besides. Time away from private play, over an expensive lunch, or a long weekend, in London, Paris or further abroad is, for me, an essential part of the deal. Learning how to be truly subservient in every respect, and at all times, is quite a journey. I failed the first time, but I am lucky enough to have been allowed back into Miss Fitzgerald’s world for a second chance. It is very hard for successful alpha males to become truly servile to a beautiful woman - but for those who are intrigued by the idea - it is extremely fulfilling.
Miss Fitzgerald is very well educated and loves the arts: opera, theatre, classical music, and burlesque. She is also incredibly well read in the literature of sadism and masochism, and the world of female domination. There is much to learn from her.
If you are intrigued by the thought of a serious relationship with a truly dominant and extremely attractive courtesan, then Miss Fitzgerald is the only game in town. But you will have to pay first class rates – Miss Fitzgerald is certainly not economy travel! Miss Fitzgerald has a wicked and fiendish sense of fun, which can be very painful at times! She is without doubt the most challenging and interesting dominatrix that you could wish to meet. Assuming that you truly wish to serve with your mind as well as your body.
Name withheld for reasons of confidentiality - but I am happy to respond to private emails if required.
On the internet there are many views from clients of session based Professional Dommes and also from participants in lifestyle Female Led Relationships but next to nothing on what it is like to enjoy the company of a Dominant Courtesan. Here is a little of my story.
A Life in the Desert:
Having attempted to ignore, deny and generally attempt to make my submissive nature go away over so many years, I finally embraced my true self just a few years ago. For many reasons, I am unable to contemplate a lifestyle D/s relationship for some years until my circumstances change. On rare occasions I would read web sites of Professional Dommes but found the concept of short session based encounters deeply unattractive. This is mainly because I am unable to contemplate D/s interactions without a high degree of authenticity, emotional connection and trust. Even though I have considerable success in life and superficially wanted for nothing, deep down I had a sense of something missing, something that could only be fulfilled by a D/s relationship with a Dominant Woman. This is not a mere itch to scratch, neither is it something that can simply disappear and so I had resigned myself to living an unfulfilled life, as though in a desert, for the foreseeable future.
A Turning point:
Becoming aware of my life slipping away as I age, I was more and more seeking alternative ways of finding fulfilment. I stumbled across Miss Fitzgerald’s site almost by accident, expecting to spend no longer than 15 seconds and expecting to discover just another site like many others. What I saw stopped me in my tracks and I then read every word both on her site and also her blog. It took a couple of days to pluck up courage, but I emailed requesting an introductory appointment including the following in reply to the “What attracted you to contact me” question:
The “About You” page of your web site literally stopped me in my tracks – every word rang an echo in my heart that shouted YES!
After a little email correspondence, I had an appointment arranged for an initial meeting before any play was scheduled. Even for this initial meeting I was incredibly nervous – I would wake up in the night or two before with a rush of adrenaline thinking “On my God, what am I doing?” and that was even for a non-play meeting. I would have been a nervous wreck had my first contact involved play.
This first meeting was extremely helpful to me – it was a chance to discuss things that I had never before talked through with anybody. I had brought a list of questions (just as well as Miss Fitzgerald is so stunningly beautiful that it was hard to think clearly at times!) and the answers to these questions helped me to have trust and confidence. Going through medical issues felt a little like talking to a doctor, but otherwise it was a relaxing chat over a cup of tea and it reassured me that she really understood me and provided insight into how she led her encounters.
From the beginning, I knew I desired to meet her every week, and to seek to spend 4, 5 or more hours together. Happily for me, this was something Miss Fitzgerald was able to accommodate and this has worked out well notwithstanding that juggling the diaries of two busy people is never trivial.
The whole experience led to a wonderful first session for me, the memory of which I will treasure for the rest of my life.
This is not the place for too many details of my encounters with Miss Fitzgerald as her skill is tailoring bespoke meetings for the individual. As a result, all that happens is highly personal and not as meaningful to others. My previous understanding was to not expect reality to match fantasy. My actual experience is that the reality of an encounter with Miss Fitzgerald has nearly always far exceeded my fantasy. Her dominance is always pure joy for me to behold, confident, majestic, elegant, powerful, like bright sunlight breaking through into a dark forest; moreover this is the real Miss Fitzgerald, natural and authentic, not a show for the gullible. Only on encountering her did I fully appreciate the difference between being dominant and domineering. Amazingly, since then, for me all FemDom porn has lost all attraction – compared with her reality I now find it all a shallow pretence.
The flow of our time together is unhurried and natural – there is a feeling of everything being in the right place and at the right time. This is so much more than a clichéd one hour session. We often go out in public – to restaurants, to the theatre, or exploring other activities. The thrill of being out with Miss Fitzgerald – stunning and elegant as she is, never diminishes. Simply walking through London streets, riding in a cab or sitting together in the theatre is a revelation – noticing as the eyes of men flicker on her never fails to augment the excitement and honour I feel that it is I who am the one who is her companion for these hours we enjoy together.
The magic of the dominant eroticism Miss Fitzgerald creates is far above and beyond anything I have ever experienced. I vividly remember thinking to myself on our first encounter that I wouldn’t have traded the last two hours for anything, even all the erotic activity put together of the past 25 years. Her fleeting mischievous smile or almost inaudible chuckle that precedes her beginning to have real fun now invokes an echo in me that I am unable to fully describe.
Miss Fitzgerald’s art of building connection is one of the most beautiful things about her. I recently came across a helpful definition: Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement. The more I read and thought about that definition the more I understood exactly what it is she creates. For me this is the key that empowers me to be the submissive man I truly am. The phrase from an earlier blog post “it’s time to stop hiding” finally becomes my reality.
Is there a downside?
Embracing the highest of D/s highs – or sometimes even the gentle highs – has on a few occasions led to me experiencing “sub drop”. The first time it happened it took me completely by surprise. I won’t describe it here, just find the worst description you can online and make it a bit worse! Happily for me it only lasts a few hours and I’ve since developed a few ways to help me handle it. Once, much to my surprise the effect of the drop was truly cathartic in that it freed me from an emotional issue that I had held buried for many years. So yes, there is a downside; but compared with the upside it is a small price to pay.
Benefits of weekly meetings:
The sense of connection deepens and I start to view each week as a continuation of the last meeting. A deep D/s relationship builds surprisingly rapidly. Some aspects of the fun extend from the hours we are together to encompass the entire week. My outlook on life has changed – I feel truly complete.
Proof of the pudding:
Sometimes I have asked myself “Is this all just a dream? Am I deluding myself?” The answer is in the changes I can see – I have taken up new hobbies and activities and have a renewed passion for life. For the first few months of last year, I was on a diet and by real act of willpower struggled to lose 10 pounds. Since beginning my encounters with Miss Fitzgerald, I have now lost well over 20 further pounds – and this has been almost effortless as I am no longer eating to fill a need that I now know could only be met by a fulfilling relationship with a dominant woman.
Miss Fitzgerald, thank-you for everything; I feel a debt of gratitude I can never fully repay.
"I have been visiting the UK from North America for a number of years and have met a number of paid companions over the years, while these experiences have been pleasant I was looking for something more… I was hoping to form a genuine connection/relationship with someone. I met Miss Olivia and we became close friends almost immediately, she is a very passionate and easy going companion who makes you feel immediately at ease. Visiting with Miss Fitzgerald is a high point of my visits to the UK… I regret that I don’t visit more often.
I’ve known Miss Olivia for some time now and have spent a few overnight visits with her. Miss Olivia has proven to be an excellent companion and frankly I consider her to be a very close friend. Our time together is always special and when we are out in public she is very exciting to be with. Miss Fitzgerald has amazing natural beauty and intelligence and is a real and genuine person and enjoyable to be with.
I recently planned a vacation to a Caribbean island and not wanting to spend all of my time alone I invited Miss Fitzgerald to join me for a week of fun and relaxation in the sun. Miss Olivia made our week together very relaxing and she is quite the tease which I thoroughly enjoy.
Over the week, we enjoyed our time together as a couple; ate dinner at a number of fine restaurants; toured some of the tourist sites that the island had to offer; prepared meals together; enjoyed some excellent wine.
When we are together I feel young again and having this beautiful, young woman as my companion certainly relieves the day to day stress of life. Miss Olivia is truly a genuine courtesan and I would recommend her to gentlemen wishing to meet a very attractive, selective and high quality companion. Miss Olivia and I have already begun to discuss two further one week visits this year…I’m truly smitten with this woman!
Thank you, Miss Olivia for helping me to find myself!"
Oh I am a Lucky Boy
Be yourself! In everything, I believe this is the best you can do, for you and for others around you. While traveling in England recently, I certainly found it to be the best, and perhaps the worst. I wanted an adventure; a sexy, fun romp of an adventure and I found so much more than that. I began with trying to find a particular person, but stumbled upon The.Best.Courtesan.Ever. Oh I am a lucky boy!
I am at once ecstatic for having had the privilege, and saddened beyond belief for having had the pleasure. I’m three thousand miles away and unable to attend The Lovely Miss! But the memories are right here, locked tightly away so that I can pull them out and replay them over and over again. The entire experience happened organically and naturally, perhaps, with a little help from me and definitely a lot of help and patience from The Lovely Miss. I’m not certain she normally operates in this manner, but it worked. Suffice it to say, there is nothing normal, as in ordinary, about my time with said Courtesan anyway.
For me, it all began months before a trip to London. I stumbled upon a tiny picture in amongst a thousand or more other tiny pictures. But there was something different, something alluring, something calling my eye; it was almost as if there were a crooked finger calling me to the shadows. There was mystery involved. The picture, instead of being a full frontal onslaught, with all the regalia and accoutrements on display, was a quiet, respectful, regal, sensual pose. It is intriguing and I love intrigue.
I clicked that link and a whirlwind grew out of it. I was lost without even knowing it yet. I read the words, I looked at the additional photos, all very intriguing, alluring, sensual and mysterious. That link led me to another closer-to-The-Source-link; her website. In amongst the words there, was an invitation to make contact even for possible non-long-term scenarios. What it ended up being, for me, was an introduction into an entirely new paradigm. All of the pieces were falling into place; I was found and didn’t even know it yet! It occurred to me that some time with this person could be fun, would be a discrete, sexy, exciting romp of an adventure. I planned and made contact.
There was no intention to make this an immersion. It hadn’t entered the conversation. It just kind of happened, organically, serendipitously. I spent some time on an introductory letter that fit the requirements she laid out and I added a twist of my own, a secret weapon if you will, and no I’m not going to tell you what it was! Get your own, use your own personality. Be yourself!
I tried to be insightful, thoughtful, witty and charming. I was trying to woo my way in for at least an initial meeting. The stars lined up, some of what I offered in writing must have been good enough for her to follow up. I got a positive response! Yay For Me! In my head there was much celebration and dancing and singing. Outwardly a stoic, arms crossed stance, a thousand mile stare with a glimmer and maybe an upturn to the corners of my mouth; intrigue. Oh I am a lucky Boy!
We began an email exchange, in which we wrote to each other and then for an even wider audience. We got to know one another somewhat intimately. But we still had not seen a clear picture of one another, not even textual descriptions. I didn’t think to offer because she didn’t ask. I didn’t think to ask because she didn’t offer. It was unnecessary. This Woman is beautiful in more ways than you can imagine, and yes physically beautiful is one of the ways.
We worked out a preliminary schedule, which I promptly changed by my desire to be there in England longer. It was more that I wanted to spend more time with her without ever having met face-to-face. The writing I was reading, the letters we exchanged, the mind I was experiencing were so incredibly diverse and deep I knew I had to lay my eyes on and pay homage to The Source. What began as an initial meeting with the possibility of a couple of disjointed days spent together later, turned into an initial meeting with time penciled in, and another day to follow just before my departure from England. The final bon voyage part was the idea of The Lovely Miss. Thank You Miss!
I continued to add days to my time there, all based on her schedule. Before long the penciled in times were adding up to multiple days. I asked quite innocently, since I am the shy, timid and innocent one, about the immersion hinted at on the website. She politely explained. I added another day.
I jumped in; both feet, all in, headlong, diving deep, swan dive to the street. You pick the metaphor that works for you. I had never experienced anyone like this and I guess I never knew what was coming. Who would? Well I guess she would, or did, or at least had a good idea of the direction we were heading. She is incredibly perceptive, and creative. She creates masterpieces of scenes that are layered, multi-faceted, discreet and sensually in tune with the surroundings and her partner. She is an artist. Her partner and the world around are the canvas, her toys and accessories the paint. When the three combine it is magic!
As part of my jumping in, I planned ahead to make sure that when we met there would be no need for transactions other than meeting, talking and final planning. If you are fortunate enough to get to a similar point, I highly suggest doing the same. Do the leg work in advance, get it out of the way and forget about it.
I approached the massive building in which she scheduled the initial meeting, winding my way through throngs of frenetic pedestrians. I found the lounge, entered and informed the hostess that I was there to meet a friend, looking around to see if anyone was watching me, most people were, I don’t blend well.
I waited for a few minutes, and found no one looking for me. A few minutes turned into nearly a quarter hour! I was beginning to think I had been taken! Since I had sent tribute before leaving home it would be easy for someone to just take it and not show. Perhaps she was not at all who I thought, maybe a Gypsy just playing on my emotions and taking me for a ride! I was beginning to feel pretty shitty, not about the loss of the funds, but at the loss of the connection. I thought “There’s no way someone could pour the emotion or energy that she had maliciously! She has to be real.” I sat stoically, coming up with a new plan for the time I had scheduled. I was kind of glad now this was a secret mission and no one would know I had been taken!
Then — then I saw her face and now I’m a believer! A pretty woman strode confidently into the lounge, dressed casually; boots, jeans and a jumper. She took the middle ground, spun slowly, reading every face in the place! She owned that room! I knew it was her before she had scanned my face. Her gaze stopped dead on my countenance, she cocked her head a little to the side, squinted a bit giving a quizzical look and I stood. Then I noticed it, her Head Girl pin. I smiled as I recognized the tiny accessory from her blog postings. She had my eyes locked to hers when she caught them again.
Me? I was clueless. I had taken the Lovely Miss’ fashion advice at least and didn’t show up with trainers and tee. My old but rebuilt boots squeaked my arrival to her realm as I clumsily gathered my things and closed the gap between us. I wish she had reminded me to turn the phone on that I had borrowed! She tried calling me to inform me she was in the next room and I had kept her waiting! I was trying to be cool in my new britches and shirt with buttons on it and now a bright blush.
When we finally sat face-to-face, I was a trembling, quivering mass of flesh jello. I don’t know if I was outwardly trembling or not and I’m not certain how I held it together, apparently I did though; she accepted my invitation, a hand written card with my plea, my gesture. She said Yes! With that simple word and the glint in her eyes, a whole new realm was founded and forged. We were to meet in three days. It was the Longest.Three.Days.EVER!
However, the three days after those three were magical. Worth every bit of the wait, worth every bit of the energy I put into making my initial letter as perfect as I could, choosing the gifts with as much thought as possible. It was worth everything, including the coming fall, the Worst.Monday.Ever.
One incredible element I experienced with this fabulous Dominant Courtesan is that she is extremely intelligent, insightful and seems to be able to read minds! She was able to pull tiny bits from me and expand them into full-blown, out-in-public experiences of a lifetime!
At one point, in a used book store (I had made a comment about liking old books!), I thought sure she was going to sneak behind me and put her hand over my mouth and drag me to the back of a stack. I’m pretty sure another customer interrupted her! The feeling of being stalked in the stacks was thrilling! But not nearly as thrilling, for me, as when she brought me into a particular high-end fashion boutique; The Liberty of London Scarf Hall! Can you say “Kid in a damn candy store!?” Oh I am a lucky Boy!
Upon entering the hall, I must have blushed a few shades judging from the expression on The Lovely Miss’ face. We strolled around that hall, I carrying her bag and coat and she trying on scarf after glorious scarf all while catching and holding my eye! Typically, in a situation such as this, I would be spinning madly in circles, albeit quite discreetly, trying to view all the lovely women in there wearing, trying on, feeling and admiring the silk scarves, but as it was, there was only one Woman in that place, and She was with ME! Or I with her.
She was deeply entrenching herself in my head and all I could do was open the doors and make sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed or desired. At several points during our time together the Lovely Miss had me, arrange a silk scarf into a particular configuration on her neck! I think the greatest pleasure was when she had me do this in public.
She is able to create these ingenious ways to be right out in public, yet private enough that a whisper of her intentions doesn’t draw attention from anyone else yet drives itself deeply into one’s psyche. It’s quite unnerving to be rowing around The Serpentine watching The Lovely Miss watching me from the bow and quite matter-of-factly say that she wanted to come out to check to see if the boats would be too wet for a particular form of play! I think I saw where this was going, and I was shocked! Well, not physically — yet! Could it be that she just wanted a relaxing row around a pond? Or was it more a test to see if I was fit enough for something else? I don’t know, but the sly grin playing out on the lovely face watching me certainly was telling me I was in for something special.
After she had me row around to the far end of the reservoir again she calmly told me our hour was nearly done and I would need to hurry to get back in time! I threw my back into it. The bastard at the dock didn’t even check or give me a time stamp on my slip! I complained openly, but playfully to her about that, another sly grin and a cute as hell sideward glance, she was playing with my head and my body without ever lifting a finger! Oh, she’s good! Of this, you can be sure!
I can and will say the initial three days I spent immersed were gloriously wonderful, because of the intellect, and creativity in which the Lovely Miss wraps herself and her companions. The day after an initial three day event, however, is a staggering blow. It began on Sunday night for me, when she left, so my Worst.Monday.Ever was a full twenty-four hour episode. I fucking cried it hurt so bad.
But I recalled her forming a collar for me with one of the silk scarves I’d offered and calling me to her. I have been with and given other Dominants this form of additional tribute in the past. They’ve been used in bondage, and tease and denial, as The Lovely Miss has, but none have ever taken it to the Core level and applied one as Her Collar for me! Not very much of what I experienced with The Lovely Miss is common to an ordinary Dominant. She goes far beyond the fantasy and roots the scene in reality. It’s not a scene at all, it’s a real connection.
I’ve experienced a number sessions with Dominant Women, mostly professional, but none have ever dug in and done more work, put more thought into the time to get to the inner core, the lizard part of the brain that operates without thinking, the stage of the psyche on which the greatest shows imaginable play out; the imagination of an individual. She took the stage in the center of my head and played with the characters there as if she had performed there as the leading lady, director and producer from the beginning of time and will do so into perpetuity! This is not a one-off meeting; this is a one-of-a-kind meeting!
In her absence, I would recall howling for her, or playing pirate on The Serpentine (ok so the action of that particular play was all in my head with her dancing with the characters in my inner milieu of the forest of my brain cells) and I would smile. I could recall reading poetry for her with electricity in the air and tingle physically with the memory of her heartfelt applause while she laughed, fire dancing in her eyes, fingers dancing over the controls of her evil little box! I half expected her to say “Dance Monkey, Dance!” Oh I am a lucky Boy!
I think, however, the most intimate moments came when she got quiet, and came close, as when we first had intimate time together. She caught my eye and came close, telling me to look deep, breathe with her. We were calibrating, timing ourselves with one another. We were heading to a higher plane on which we were the only inhabitants. (Listen to her Adult Jackanory again! That place is real!) She had made all the preparations with me watching.
Now, the stage was set, but immersed in reality. The inner milieu and the outer physical realm were merging. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Dive deep into the pools of her eyes. Then, the first pierce, and a broad smile from The Lovely Miss! A questioning raised eyebrow from her elicited a slight nod from me. We continued in this manner; connected for I don’t know how long. I lost myself in her. I didn’t want to come back.
Each pierce drove me a little deeper, until I was in another place, another world, a new realm. I don’t know the physics and or the metaphysics of piercing that allows someone to go so deep. Maybe it’s the primal nature of the process, perhaps it’s the connectivity between the piercer and the pierced. More likely, for me personally, it’s the Ritual. Whatever it is, The Lovely Miss has created an inner space that she may use again, but also a Sacred Space on the canvas of my body. The Sacred Space, that was my own, mine, not shared with others because of the sensitivity of it, the personal nature of it, is now Hers. It’s certainly still my Sacred Space, but in the BDSM realm, this space is off limits to all, Hard Fucking Limit.
The Lovely Miss has pierced me with more than needles and has taken up a bit of real estate in my Sacred Space, physically, emotionally and yes, for me at least Spiritually. These are some of the images I draw upon to get back there and used to get through my time while in England, but not with her.
Then — then I would watch that cab pull away from the curb again and again and again and plummet, partly from knowing that I hailed it. It would not be the last cab I would snatch a glimpse of moving away from a curb, and it was not the worst feeling I would encounter from watching either. Each time I experienced it and now remember it, I would and do plummet. Not stumble, not fall, not come gently back to Earth floating like a feather. It was a precipitous fall; the kind of belly churning, plunge dreamt when you are six and sick with fever, a swirling, tumbling, sickening, headlong, terminal velocity fucking dive into an abyss. Each time I wanted to slam myself into the granite of oblivion to make the pain stop.
Each time I slowly I dragged myself back to reality and got on with my stay in England. She was never far from my thoughts. Remember the good times and focus on them and slowly, ever so slowly, the pain of separation subsides. But know this, it can come flooding back in and overwhelm you in the darkness of the night!
I got on a train the next day, the Worst.Monday.Ever, after having actually seen her again for a very brief serendipitous meeting. She looked absolutely lovely, but maybe a bit sad too, in what would become a special place for me. Luckily, no one sat next to or near me. I continually had to focus my gaze far away, turned away from anyone else and secretly wipe tears from my cheek. I wished I could thrust my face into the eighty-mile-an hour wind just millimeters and a pane of glass away and howl mournfully, as I’ve done roaring across the hot, arid plains of South Dakota. My thousand mile stare had lost its edge and was leaking. The hot wind would have dried the streaks. The climb from the abyss was getting tiring. Each time I plummeted, I would climb the rocky crags to scrabble myself back to ground level, to interact in the here and now.
I had to shake it off, I had to be the prize fighter, standing up in the twelfth round to deliver. I did, but with help. Every fighter needs someone in their corner. And she was there for me, in my mind and in my corner, lifting me when I was beaten down and just a mess.
I somehow made it through the Worst.Monday.Ever. It was raining in Birmingham for the three days I was there, so I didn’t have to wipe the sliding, salty drops away so often. My melancholy grew into a train station in my mind, at which I would board and think back on the smiles, the conversations, the meals, the small patting of the physical space next to her calling me off my knees, the eyes piercing my soul, the needles my Sacred territory, the soft soothing voice reminding me “breathe in, breathe out, focus on my eyes”. I would be ok. I would smile. I could smile. I was immersed. She was and is all around me, in me, with me.
Tuesday came around and I was with new friends trying to keep focused on them and not be a hundred miles away when it happened. My new phone was ringing, I got a call! She had asked if it was ok to make contact outside of the agreed upon meetings. Of course the answer was yes, Yes, YES! She called to make sure I was ok, I think, part of her awesome aftercare. I was nearly in tears just hearing her voice and wanting to hold her. I’m pretty sure I told her I wasn’t; the truth. She reassured me, she held me over the phone, she made it ok. It still hurt, but I had her reassurance and I held onto that like a shield.
She clued me in on a vacancy that opened in her schedule, the next Monday! She invited me back a day early if I could; as if it were a question. Again, YAY For Me! The dancing and singing and celebratory high-fives were rampant in the head. Everything in the outside world of reality faded to black, I was transported from a street corner in Birmingham, in the rain, to a sunny London sidewalk with her on my arm, or I on hers, it’s all in the perspective you know. Oh I am a lucky Boy!
My body stood on that street in the rain, but my mind, my heart, my soul was a hundred miles away in London. Best.Fucking.Tuesday.Ever (so far). She called, like a Siren and I happily obliged and set sail to her shore. The meandering path I had ahead of me would have made Odysseus laugh, but to me the next five days would be wrought with visions of her and I would hold the shield she gave me and add to it the armor of knowing; she called me back early. I realized though that even with a beauty and an attraction like a Siren, she is in reality so much more than those sea hags! She is the end reward of the adventure; she is my Penelope! The one for which I will endure anything the Gods can throw at me!
There is more to this story, oh so much more, but if you have the privilege and honor to be immersed in her presence, you can ask to hear it from her perspective. She may require you to fetch a shrubbery or something for a retelling. Just do it; immerse yourself.