I recently heard (from an ex-Findomme) that Findom is the ultimate form of domination as once that money is handed over, it is gone, therefore it is the ultimate power. As soon as I heard this, it made me think (of course), but it also made me question the veracity of this statement.
It also made me think about some of the Findom requests I had recently received and thought about how I might ethically, responsibly, and creatively, engage in another dimension of Female Domination that was suited to me personally.
But the question of money being the ‘ultimate form of Domination’ still irked me, because I knew this not to be true. Money spent, given away, tributed, can all be earned again if so desired- money is not a finite source in life, nor in any one individual’s life although it may seem that way at times.
Even for those that hand over hard-earned money to Findommes are only handing over a resource that is not finite. But the going out again to work more hours, more days, overtime- that is the crux of it- they are spending their finite time to earn more money.
For them it might be more like:
Now, this might be correct for those that work for a paycheck of some sort, engaged in the dynamic of time spent at work for money per hour, regardless of the per hour rate. But what if someone did not have to work per hour? What if they had a passive income stream of some sort? Once that money was taken by a Findom, it could easily be regenerated by compound interest. Therefore, not the ultimate power exchange.
There is only one form of exchange that is truly finite and that is time.
What about the HNWI subs that do not have to exchange their time for money? Or the ones that exchange their time at such a high rate pro rata that much of what they hand over is small fry to them? Independently wealthy- their money works for them.
If they have found a way to make their money work for them, how can Findom work for them, and more importantly, the Domme? If it is of no real stretch for someone to hand over money, where is the Domination in this?
So, unless I want to extract ever increasing amounts from the sub, there must be a way to really target his wallet in a meaningful way.
Psychological research shows that spending money has less emotional impact when we pay via card or on the Internet (cite source) rather than paying via cash. Essentially using a card rather than cash 'dulls' the experience: Monopoly Money: the effect of payment coupling and form on spending behaviour.
Does that mean that cash drops would therefore be more of a psychological impact for the sub than sending gifts, vouchers or giftcards via email? Would it have a deeper and more lasting impression than the fleeting thrill of the click of a button?
Most of my clients prefer payment via BACS in advance of our time together so that the money element need not be raised during our time together, and as old-school gents, this suits them well. Likewise, this suits me well too.
For those to whom the financial transaction is part of the thrill, cash is king. Handing over thousands in cash certainly has a lot more impact than a bank transfer, which is easily done especially when someone is set up as an ‘existing payee’. And for those that work with money on a daily basis, numbers on a screen can mean even less, even when it is their own.
So what else could be done?
For large sums maybe a James Bond style cat-and-mouse style cash/chip drop at a casino would be more thrilling, adding to the frisson of the exchange?
Or instruct the sub to align their portfolios to less index-linked investments, and more socially conscious investments?
Interestingly, the median age range for the people I see appears to be in the 50-60 age range (with a few significant outliers!) and research also shows that it is this demographic that are less inclined towards Socially Responsible Investments: Socially Responsible Investing: How Millennials are Driving It.
Make him donate a generous sum to the charity of my choice? Anonymously. No charity gala, no black tie, no handshakes and social validation. Just a plain donation. In cash.
And I so continued with my thinking. More specifically, how I might want to engage in Findom in a way that suited me.
I’m not someone who swears much in life so all the usual clichés are out for me, but I knew that I would be interested in finding a few people with whom I could strike up a genuine power exchange, in a financial context that is done with Dominant compassion, integrity, and intelligence. That the sub may or may not be into humiliation, but is into financial servitude. Not to feel emasculated, but nourished by his generosity.
Essentially, a style of Findom that is less about draining the last drops from someone and more about raising a joyful glass to the D/s dynamic.
So, I am still curious about the possibilities of creating financial servitude connections, whether at distance or in person, that are more based on genuine power exchange, rather than selling revealing photos for cash. Something that is aligned with generosity of spirit, where neither party is diminished in the giving or receiving but where the (financial) servitude is an enhancement of the D/s relationship to enrichen both parties.
I’d be very interested to hear your thoughts on this topic- is money the ultimate form of domination?